how to train your kacchan
by hpnutter
Summary: "But lately, Kacchan reminds him of a chihuahua; a small, yappy pound of fluff fueled by aggressive posturing and seething hatred." Hypothesis: If Kacchan acts like a dog, Kacchan can be trained like a dog.


Izuku has a Plan©.

Is it the best plan? No, probably not.

Is that going to stop him from going through with it? Also no.

Just the other day in class, he'd learned about the Scientific Method. He finds it fascinating, how it can be applied to daily life, how he can use it to solve his own problems.

Izuku grabs a new notebook, cracks it open and writes as neatly as he can on the first page the steps of the scientific method.

Firstly, what is the problem he is trying to fix?

Well, Kacchan kind of reminds him of a dog.

When it's just the two of them curled in Izuku's bed underneath his All Might sheets, he reminds him of Mrs. Higurashi's terrier. Soft, cuddly, _warm_.

But lately, Kacchan reminds him of a chihuahua; a small, yappy pound of fluff fueled by aggressive posturing and seething hatred. Izuku frowns.

Observation: Kacchan is being mean.

Question: How can I make Kacchan stop being mean?

He doesn't know what exactly happened, why Kacchan went from his cool best friend to someone who likes to push other kids on the playground or calls him _Deku_ , from someone who admires All Might and wants to be a hero almost as much as he does to someone who laughs at Izuku's tears.

He doesn't like it, but he also doesn't know how to fix it.

Hence, the scientific method.

Hypothesis: If Kacchan acts like a dog, Kacchan can be trained like a dog.

Izuku taps his pencil against his chin thoughtfully. He doesn't know if this will work, but he's running out of options. He doesn't want to go to his mother or Auntie Mitsuki about this, feels like that would be a lot like tattling which isn't nice. But Izuku also knows that he cannot just sit back and let Kacchan terrorize everybody on the playground.

That's not what a hero does.

It's the next part of the scientific method that has his tummy in knots.

 _Experiment_.

* * *

It's a few days before Izuku can put his theory to the test. He's done a lot of research, pouring over article after article on the computer about dog training, positive and negative reinforcement. His mother had to sit him down and sadly explain to him that their little apartment didn't allow them to have any pets.

He couldn't exactly say that he was looking up ways to train Kacchan, so Izuku smiled at her and said, "Okay, mama."

How embarrassing!

But now he's on the playground again, eyes searching for the aggressively spiky blond hair. He catches sight of Kacchan next to their three other friends, Takahashi, Tsubasa, and Higurashi, boys who also already came into their quirks. Higurashi can extend his fingers, Tsubasa has bat wings, and Takahashi can disrupt the magnetic fields around him. They're all very cool quirks, and it's what's made them very good friends.

Izuku…doesn't have a quirk, still remembers the doctor's words, the way his mama cried and apologized. Even worse, Izuku remembers how the other boys exchanged looks, glances that spoke a thousand words, none of which were particularly favorable to Izuku's place in the group.

Kacchan is showing off his quirk, small explosions coming to life, and he and the other boys laugh when it startles a little girl into tears.

Now is the perfect time to test out his first method.

He's nervous, a little shaky, but he sees the little girl's tears, and he squares his little shoulders, puffs out his chest.

He might not have a quirk, but he doesn't need one to be her hero. Not today.

Izuku strides over to the group, and before they can take much notice of him, before they can call him _Deku_ , he flicks Kacchan on the nose, hard, and says, "No! _Bad_ Kacchan!"

A stunned silence falls on the group, the other boys staring comically at Kacchan, whose eyes are wide and staring at Izuku's still poised finger.

The little girl stops crying, giggles.

It's enough to snap Kacchan back to attention, and he growls, cheeks flushed pink, small explosions popping, " _Deku_!"

Izuku runs as fast as his little legs can carry him, Kacchan giving chase and yelling words that would make Auntie Mitsuki wash his mouth out with soap.

Method number one: complete failure.

* * *

Kacchan stays mad at Izuku for an entire week after the Flicking Incident. Normally this would crush the younger boy, but he takes the time to research other methods. His mumbling increases in volume when he's home, hovering over the computer and scribbling little notes in his All Might notebook.

His brainstorming pays off when he comes up with two other methods to try. He jots them down, plans, and before he knows it, he's back at the park with Kacchan.

Kacchan isn't so mad at him anymore. He makes a weird, grumpy expression with his face when Izuku toddles after him, but he doesn't chase him away. Takahashi and Higurashi are home sick, and Tsubasa is visiting his grandma, so it's just Izuku and Kacchan playing today.

They play by the creek, digging in the mud to see who can find the biggest, fattest, juiciest worm. Kacchan cackles as he flings mud everywhere, especially when some lands in Izuku's hair, but it's not mean like it normally is. This is the Kacchan that Izuku likes hanging out with, doesn't understand why he can't act like this all the time.

He doesn't know how long they're out there, but there's mud in his hair, between his fingers, even in his socks. His shoes squish and squelch on the sidewalk when they start walking back home.

Kacchan is regaling Izuku with tales of how he beat the hardest level on his favorite All Might videogame, his little arms flailing in his excitement. Izuku is just as excited, happy, and he thinks maybe, just maybe, his friend will stop being mean all on his own.

* * *

It goes like this.

Tsubasa is back from visiting his grandma.

His bat-like wings shake agitatedly as he snaps at Izuku, "We want to play Heroes and Villains, _Deku_ , and you need a quirk to do that!"

"Yeah," Kacchan agrees meanly.

Izuku can't help the tears that well up in his eyes. His lower lip wobbles, and he sniffles. "But I want to play," he says quietly. "Why do I need a quirk for that?"

"I guess you don't," Kacchan muses. He shares a look with Tsubasa, and then he smiles meanly at Izuku. "You could be the villain's victim, cuz you're so weak and useless!"

Tsubasa laughs.

Izuku feels his little heart break, and he turns around, tears streaming down his face, walks home with his head bowed.

* * *

Getting the squirt bottle is easy. "Sometimes Kacchan accidentally sets things on fire," he tells his mama sweetly. "I want to help him put them out."

She's charmed, pats his fluffy green hair and compliments him on his helpful thinking.

Izuku feels a little guilty. He's not exactly _lying_ to his mama, but he's not being completely truthful, either. All Might would be so disappointed in him.

But then he thinks of why he's doing this, and the guilty feeling fades into determination.

The squirt bottle stays in a little satchel that he starts to carry around. He still follows his friends, trails after them like a lost puppy, and for a couple of days, he doesn't need to use the bottle.

That all changes when Tsubasa uses his wings to hit someone in the face.

The boy, three years older than them, does not like being hit, and he grabs Tsubasa by the scruff of his shirt, lip pulled back in a snarl.

Kacchan, always spoiling for a fight now-a-days, doesn't hesitate to pop off explosions, growling, "Let him go, you extra!"

"And what are you going to do about it?" the other boy sneers.

Kacchan charges with a roar, kicks the other boy in the shin. Tsubasa is unceremoniously dropped, and then Kacchan hits the older boy in the face. His fist is pulled back, and he's going to hit the now crying boy in the face again when Izuku strikes.

His squirt bottle is in his hands, and he lets loose a stream of water that hits Kacchan in the face.

Kacchan flinches, throws his hand up in an effort to stop the onslaught of water.

The other boy takes his leave, running away.

"Deku," Kacchan snarls, "what are you doing?"

Izuku hesitates, scrambles for something to say. "I didn't want you to accidentally set something on fire," he says weakly.

Tsubasa laughs harshly. "And what's a squirt bottle going to do?"

"Well the other kid left, didn't he?" Izuku points out. "But he wouldn't have gotten mad if you hadn't hit him in the face!"

Tsubasa flicks his wings agitatedly. "He was in the way!"

Izuku shakes a little, but he thinks of All Might, thinks of _I am here!_ and that fearless smile that he loves so much, and the fear that he feels is overtaken by a strange calm. He clenches his little fists, and he says back, "You're being a bully! That's not what a hero is about!"

Izuku doesn't wait for a response. His temporary courage flees, and he turns around and runs until he's back home.

Method number two: also a failure.

* * *

It's a rainy day and Auntie Mitsuki and Uncle Masaru need to work, so Kacchan is dropped off at Izuku's house when it's still early. Kacchan looks ruffled, grumpy, and Izuku's mama leads him to Izuku's room where they both curl into bed and sleep for a little longer.

When Izuku wakes up for the day, Kacchan is still sleeping, mouth a little slack, a trail of drool on Izuku's pillow. His friend looks calm, peaceful in sleep, not a trace of meanness, no harsh lines on his face.

His mama makes chocolate chip pancakes, and Izuku devours three of them before Kacchan stumbles into the kitchen. He rubs the sleep from his eyes, but quietly eats his breakfast without complaint. The morning is when he's the quietest, and when they're done eating breakfast, Izuku hesitantly suggests, "Do you want to play video games?"

"I call All Might!" Kacchan is running out of the kitchen before Izuku can protest.

They spend hours playing video games, laughing at the character's ultimate moves. Kacchan wins more often than not, but that's okay. Izuku doesn't mind.

"Do you still want to be a hero?" Kacchan asks suddenly.

Izuku stares at him in surprise. "Of course," he says, like Kacchan is being silly with his question.

Kacchan's brows furrow. He says, "But you can't. You don't have a quirk. Everyone knows you need a quirk to be a hero."

Izuku frowns. "Well, why can't I be the first quirkless hero?"

"Don't be stupid, Deku," Kacchan sneers. "You'd be useless! How can you stand a chance against somebody with a quirk?"

Izuku stares at his controller, hurt. "I can be a hero," he says quietly.

Kacchan glares at him. "You need a quirk," he repeats, saying it slowly this time, as if that will help Izuku understand better.

Izuku swallows thickly. "Maybe," he concedes. "Maybe I do need a quirk to be a hero. But I don't need a quirk to be a good person."

"Huh?" Kacchan squints at him in confusion. "Having a quirk doesn't make you a good person, stupid."

"And being quirkless doesn't make me a bad one," Izuku counters. He selects his character with a hard mash of the button.

There's an uncomfortable silence that falls on them, and when Izuku loses this match, he sets his controller down, goes off to do something else.

Kacchan stays seated in front of the TV, keeps playing, but he doesn't look as enthusiastic as before. He looks perplexed.

* * *

Izuku doesn't know how to feel.

He wants more than anything to be a hero, and it hurts when everyone tells him he can't do it. It hurts when Kacchan is mean to him, and he's starting to think the sole reason is because he doesn't have a quirk.

He has one more method that he wants to try, one last effort, and if it doesn't work…

He ignores the rapid beating in his chest.

The other methods he tried didn't work. He thinks about it and decides that maybe they were too mean. Maybe he'll have better luck if, instead of punishing Kacchan's mean behavior, he gives Kacchan a treat for being nice.

Fireballs are Kacchan's favorite candy. They're spicy and sweet. Izuku doesn't like them much, but Kacchan once quite happily ate an entire bag of them in a half an hour.

Timing is everything, and so Izuku watches Kacchan like a hawk. He doesn't interact much with the other boys anymore, not that they played a lot together to begin with. Tsubasa gives him mean looks, and he's the main one saying mean things just barely loud enough for Izuku to hear. The other boys laugh, which always makes Izuku's ears burn in shame and embarrassment, but then they leave him alone for a bit.

Sometimes it's like he doesn't exist to them, and Izuku doesn't know if that's better or worse.

Kacchan isn't as mean to him anymore. He still snaps at him sometimes, but there's no heat behind it, doesn't leave Izuku shaking in fear like it used to. It's confusing because he's become used to Kacchan making snide comments about his uselessness, and even chiming in when the other boys make fun of him.

The first time that changes, Izuku is so startled that the tears that had started to develop re-absorbed into his tear ducts.

Tsubasa mock-whispers to the other boys, "We should play Heroes and Villains so stupid Deku can go away."

Takahashi laughs. "He's so useless. Let's not play with him."

"Yeah, we don't need to play with a Deku."

Izuku sighs sadly, wants to cry but doesn't want to give them more ammunition.

"Oh, shut up," Kacchan snaps. He glares at his friends, who are surprised since this is usually the time when Kacchan makes Izuku leave them alone. "De—He can play if he wants to!"

Tsubasa scowls but isn't willing to go against Kacchan.

The other boys exchange nervous looks, but they go along with it.

Izuku gives Kacchan a small smile. "Thank you," he whispers happily.

Kacchan sneers. "You better keep up!"

Izuku nods, determined, and he stuffs a Fireball candy into Kacchan's hand. Kacchan's eyes light up greedily and he shoves the candy into his mouth gleefully.

They play, and Izuku makes a great hero.

Method number three: very promising.

* * *

It happens again.

And again, and again, and again. Izuku gives Kacchan a candy every time he does something nice, until Kacchan is being nice to people other than Izuku.

He helped the teacher set out snacks for the class? Candy.

He took turns with playing as All Might? Candy.

It's a new routine that they keep doing until Tsubasa is so frustrated that he starts yelling, "Why does Deku have to play with us? He's slow, and stupid, and quirkless!"

Izuku flinches, taken aback by the harsh vitriol the other boy is spewing.

Kacchan puffs up his chest, glares fiercely at Tsubasa. "He's my friend," he says strongly. "And you're going to stop being mean to him! He's not useless, and he's not stupid!"

Tsubasa glares tearfully at Kacchan. "I don't want to play with him," he spits out, crosses his arms in front of his chest. "You can play with Deku, or you can play with me!"

Izuku's heart drops to the pit of his stomach.

Kacchan turns to him, but instead of telling Izuku to scram like Tsubasa is expecting, he grabs Izuku's hand and starts pulling him away, saying, "Let's go, Deku. We can play at my house."

Izuku isn't the only one that's surprised, but he follows Kacchan. They leave the other boys behind, and Izuku feels horribly guilty when Tsubasa's cries reach their ears.

"I'm sorry," he says quietly.

"What for?" Kacchan demands.

"If it weren't for me…"

Kacchan shakes his head, rolls his eyes. "He's just being mean because you're quirkless," he says bluntly. "But he can't tell me who I can and can't be friends with."

Izuku sniffles. "I thought you wouldn't want to stay friends with _me_ ," he admits.

"Why?!" Kacchan sounds offended.

Izuku shrugs. "You can be really mean sometimes," he says softly. "You like to make fun of me, and you call me Deku, and you laugh when they say mean things about me."

Kacchan stops, opens his mouth, but then closes it again. He kicks the ground, grimaces. "I'm sorry," he grinds out, like it's physically painful.

Izuku isn't quite able to hold in his gasp of shock. "Huh?"

Kacchan glares at him. The tips of his ears are red. "I said I'm sorry," he repeats. "You're not…you're not useless, and I shouldn't have said that. Just because you don't have a quirk doesn't mean I can be mean to you, so I'm sorry."

One tear escapes, and then another, and then Izuku is crying softly, trying in vain to wipe them all away. He reaches into his pocket for a Fireball that he gives to Kacchan.

Kacchan accepts it, but then he reaches into his own pocket, and he gives Izuku a chocolate-centered lollipop, Izuku's favorite.

"Stop crying," Kacchan demands as he shoves the lollipop into Izuku's mouth. "Come on, I bet I can win more than you!"

Izuku sniffles, sucks on the lollipop. "You're on!" he warbles around it.

And then they're racing to Kacchan's house, laughing breathlessly. Auntie Mitsuki brings them up snacks as they yell and holler at their characters on the television. Kacchan wins more than Izuku, because it's Kacchan, but as Kacchan does his victory dance, as Izuku sips at the lemonade Auntie Mitsuki brought up and munches on a sandwich, he can't help but think that defeat tastes a lot like victory.

When he goes home that night, he throws out his 'Training Kacchan' notebook.

He doesn't need it anymore.


End file.
